AAACK! (Like how Cathy used to say) It has been a FULL month since my last post and guess what? I am NOT apologizing, girl! That's because I just took a 4 week family vacation!
I've had a roller-coaster of a year and boy was I ready for some time to myself and also with other people who share genes with me.
We rented a beautiful 12 bedroom home in the Colorado hills near the famous Coors Light Mountain Range. We all made sure to keep our distance from each other since the first rule of an extended family sharing communal space is "dear god give people some privacy!"
We spent the first few nights in isolation getting used to remembering we were surrounded by family members. Once that feeling became somewhat normal, we ventured out into the entryway and discussed the pros and cons of the rental house. After a heated debate we declared a draw: the accommodations were equal parts awesome and terrible.
Here is a brief list detailing what made the house awesome.
1. Close to trees.
2. Pleasing amount of shrubs.
3. No ghosts.
Here is a brief list detailing what made the house terrible.
1. Coffee maker used No. 4 filters,
2. No secret passageways/gardens.
3. Hot tub was not a time machine.
Next we decided on how to go about deciding on what 'fun' 'mountain' 'activities' we would experience. On days 5 and 6 we met every morning at dawn to discuss all the 'options available to us' in this 'mountain retreat.' Most family members said things like "I'd like to do that" then changed their minds hours later after they'd had a chance to ruminate on their impulse to 'take an unguided ATV tour."
Let me tell you, it was quite an ordeal.
By the end of Day 6 Deliberations (D6D, we had hats made) three activities emerged as favorable.
1. Scenic drive through the hiking trails.
2. Blindfolded ATV tour (guided)
3. Picturing all our surroundings covered in snow.
On day 7 we did all those things before lunch. Days 8-30 we retreated to our rooms and agonized over changing our online profile pictures. My hair grew down to the small of my back. My father finally completed his novel "A man and his novel." My sister started a new religion. My dog gave birth. The rest of the family had fun as well, doing whatever it was they thought would serve them in the moment, those selfish bastards.
I'm looking forward to relaxing at home, since I have no job and am technically on a perpetual vacation, and congratulating myself on taking the time to relax and unwind in another state.